So I'll Miss It ~

I left these words of mine somewhere else over the web, and they're spread out as follows: 

"There's something about 2009 that makes it, by far, my best year. And for that, it feels as if I'm held back from opening that door to welcome the new year. This remaining day is just too precious to waste away. I'll miss this year.. that much I know."

Let me tell myself what happened for the first half of today. I'll include anything that surfaces to mind, and whatever else that I think is worth telling - no matter how minute the significance it holds. This, after all, will be a day that bids goodbye to 2009. The words that I place here just suddenly seems so important this time. I think I may know why, or.. maybe I just really have no clue at all. 


So it begins.. 

~       ~       ~

I woke up and acknowledged God with a prayer - I haven't done it for awhile but today I felt an urge that pressed me to do it. 
I took a look at the bulletin board, two of them, and a whiteboard. I decided that some of the papers stuck to it had to go. And for the whiteboard, I just had to erase a past notice. I did.
I agreed to walk down to town with a colleague knowing that it would be my last for this year. All she needed to say was, "Come.. let's go." That was it.
I snapped a couple of pictures for the changes that were happening around me. I'm missing the old look somehow.
I came up with an impromptu decision of buying my favorite "ice-cold treat" just to wish the shopkeeper a happy new year just in case she is looking forward to 2010 better than I am. 
I agreed to go out for lunch with another colleague. I went because this was my first, and especially, at that time of the day. I will treat the next time.

~       ~       ~

Got a little emotional earlier for some reason. Still am.. the rule is it comes and goes. I find it a little hard accepting the fact that I've only got a few hours left in my hands before the year changes its figure. Time seems to be slipping away much faster today although really.. throughout history, time has always been faithfully consistent with its movement. I feel stubborn because I am.. and because I don't want to let it go. But have I got a choice?

It felt so much easier to accept the fact that I turned a year older this year. But it isn't at all with what's going to change by a matter of hours from now. No.


I know I'll come to better senses much later. So I'll just leave myself with my thoughts and feelings just as it is. No point forcing myself to think and feel otherwise when in the end, I'll find myself in prolonged self-denial. 

I'll miss it.. I really, really will.