Listen to What's Inside ~

This rhythm that's beating inside me.. could it possibly be real? Tell me now if it isn't so.. before I go too far. It's been far too long.. almost  as if it was only a dream that never came to the senses of reality. But I know better.. it wasn't a lie. Now.. I've left it all behind.. never to look back at the pain that tore me apart for days which.. grew to much more than that. I've come to accept it.. and more so to embrace it. I can see through it now with newer sight. I'm no longer blinded by hopes that never amounted to anything. I know now that it only pulled me further back instead of pushing me forward.

I choose now to lay it to rest.. because now I can say, 'Thank you.. you helped me to grow.' 

Take my hand.. and show me the beauty of this precious gift. 

Mess

I'm surrounded by such a beautiful mess. I don't know whether I meant that sarcastically or symbolically or whatever way you want to put it. Weird but I just don't have quite the energy today - I just want to go to the comfort of my bed. Mind you but when you're all tired you won't care much to think whether your bed owns a luxurious price tag on it or not. 

Meeting. Again. I shouldn't be complaining but I'm doing just that right now. Am I actually mentally and physically.. and emotionally ready with the work I'm tied to? I don't even know why I'm asking myself that question now. It's gonna start pretty soon.. and the afternoon.. gosh.. it's damn hot.

Guess things will seem a little more in place when I get myself more organized at home. I have to seriously work on that. 

Now, since I'm all tired, sometimes it's nice to have a cooling color to soothe your vision.. like the image I got somewhere off the net. Don't sue me for doing that.

Gotta go.

Yo...

Slamat tengahari M'sia!

I have a lot of work to be done but little seems to be accomplished. Not good..nope..not at all. Ha! I'm thinkin' of chicken butt now - there's a reason for it and not just any reason. Short story goes...

One of them asked me, saying this, "Teacher..apa English 'buntut ayam'?" [What is 'buntut ayam' in English?] He continued, and gave an answer to his own inquiry while smiling, "Chicken butt?" That question completely shattered my professional composure - I couldn't help but burst out laughing. Some others caught what he said and joined in all the glee. I was saying, "Can't you think of anything else..like chicken wings or chicken breasts? Why of all things...?" 

On another account, while I was busy marking their day's assignment amid all the noise, a familiar smell came greeting my senses (someone was secretly eating in class but unfortunately had failed to contain the smell). I'd say it was somewhere between the smell of a fried nugget and hot dog. I went for nugget but the others said it was hot dog. I decided to skip the scolding remarks and instead went sniffing about like a mad person..then questioned, "What..you didn't share me some?!"

I guess at this point, it's quite obvious who 'them' refers to. Also, 'their' and 'others'. Next time, I'll address 'them' more appropriately. You know..they're humans too. Donks!

Gosh..sometimes I think (actually very often) that I am better being friends with them than being what I actually am to them in the first place.

Speaking of friends, I just realized that my quote catch today reads, "It's the friends you can call up at 4 a.m. that matter." Marlene Dietrich ~

Nice. (=

Daisy Day ~

I choose to move.. for I chose to take the chances.. it might turn out right.. again it might not.. but then again.. life won't be as it is if you don't dare to take a new step forward.

So today wasn't at all that bad.. that much I will say.. for now.

Come What May

Let the story continue... for it might end as a beautiful piece of composition life can ever have. Yes, it never lies. The external layer may disguise it well but the internal part of it is ever transparent.  

August. What can I say about it after having living for almost ten days of it? Well today wasn't exactly fantastic. I was emotionally excited for only a small portion of the day. Then it went spiraling down just like that. Bam! Bad thing is I started carrying that side of that emotion with me to where I shouldn't have. Work explains it. The nature of it serves to elaborate my situation. Jab-bah-ruh-blu. Hope you read and said that fast enough. Young minds... and character... plus attitude that hasn't gone far from the starting line.  All that with a complete consecutive five days count virtually every week. I've gone perhaps half of the line but still have a long way to go.

I ask myself a string of questions which makes me not much different from others. What can be done to make things different from the usual? I want a change for the better - for myself as a person and for them which I have a love-hate feeling for. Solutions come when you don't avoid what you encounter. You're drawn to the root of the problem when there's maturity of the mind and emotion. 

It's all a matter of choice, and today, it's quite obvious I didn't make the right one - all because I simply chose not to.

May tomorrow be a day where I make a better set of choices.