Does He Hear?

I'm dead with ideas. Who else can I call upon? Or "sms" upon? Who'll be willing to?

Refer to this post to know what I mean exactly by "willing". Read between the lines.

I want to go to another church tomorrow. I've never been to that district. And to not be able to go will shatter me. There may be a next time. But next time will be different.

Woe is me.

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Looking away. Who hears my cry? This weak and lonely cry?

All hopelessness sinking in.

I might as well leap down and let myself be crushed.

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By the way, that monkey wasn't going to leap off (I'm not even sure if it was still the same one - there were two different monkeys who paid a visit up that trunk). It was in the middle of shaking that dead dried trunk - violently.

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I breathed out a little prayer. Still am. Maybe it's a feeling of hoping now.

Will you hear me.. Oh, One up there???

+10

Live as long as you may, the first twenty years are the longest half of your life.

Robert Southey

A quote I got from my "Quote Catch" to the right column of this blog (after today the quote may have changed already). I'd like to change a bit of those words though and read them this way, "Live as long as you may, the first thirty years are the longest half of your life."

I've wasted away too many opportunities along the way, and to think that I've let them pass makes me feel a tinge (or more) of regret. I still have about 7 years before hitting digit 3 in the front.

I'd like my first 30 to really come to life by then.

If today were my last day of breath to live, and I could somehow have that knowledge that I have died, my spirited presence would look down on my soulless flesh of being and say, "I died too young... very much unseasoned to many more."

I belong to the year of the Ox. And just like the fireworks that come to life during the nights for two weeks now, I'd like to be bursting out with a joy of celebration - as much as I can.

I

II

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To work.
To health.
To experiences.
To fellowship.
Companionship.
And to friendship.

To the little talents and skills.
And to many more unmentioned.

Here's a toast...

to life and beyond.

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It's a Sunday morning. It didn't rain. It might later.

But here's the thing...

I think I have a lot to look forward to.

Beyond My Usual

Those eyes that darted towards my direction this morning was one of the most venomous spitting glare I have ever come across in my entire two decades plus of breath and life. Even the worst of my enemies, cannot compare to such intensity.

I kid you not.

Two, three times, or a little more than that, I saw them looking at me. If it wasn't me who looked first, it was my peripheral vision that told me so - they were looking. Loathe, malice, repugnance - and all the other synonyms for each of the three - were all very vivid and real. I felt numb with a fear that was novel to me. You ask me whether I ever want to meet those eyes again?

Hell no.

Because it is as pure as hell to the roots. I'm telling you.. don't mess around with the devil. Ever. Once you're in, it's hard to break out.

By the way, I'm not even sure whether it was a good idea of me putting up this entry. Whatever it is, the virtual author choses what to tell and what not.