Come What May

Let the story continue... for it might end as a beautiful piece of composition life can ever have. Yes, it never lies. The external layer may disguise it well but the internal part of it is ever transparent.  

August. What can I say about it after having living for almost ten days of it? Well today wasn't exactly fantastic. I was emotionally excited for only a small portion of the day. Then it went spiraling down just like that. Bam! Bad thing is I started carrying that side of that emotion with me to where I shouldn't have. Work explains it. The nature of it serves to elaborate my situation. Jab-bah-ruh-blu. Hope you read and said that fast enough. Young minds... and character... plus attitude that hasn't gone far from the starting line.  All that with a complete consecutive five days count virtually every week. I've gone perhaps half of the line but still have a long way to go.

I ask myself a string of questions which makes me not much different from others. What can be done to make things different from the usual? I want a change for the better - for myself as a person and for them which I have a love-hate feeling for. Solutions come when you don't avoid what you encounter. You're drawn to the root of the problem when there's maturity of the mind and emotion. 

It's all a matter of choice, and today, it's quite obvious I didn't make the right one - all because I simply chose not to.

May tomorrow be a day where I make a better set of choices. 

My Big "Haiya" Moments

Addiction is a bad thing. Well, usually that's the idea one normally gets - the word itself, that is, 'addiction'. It's bad enough that one can't stop smoking or drinking, and yet claim that they're not addicted. Total denial. My aim of blogging today isn't to condemn anyone. The earlier sentences were just my way of saying hello. I'm a girl, and girls, generally, have a weird way of expressing what they really have in mind which only generates confusion and contradiction sometimes. 

My predicament is this. It's something that I have just recently developed. I'm dealing with allergic reactions believed to be caused by some of the food that enter my digestive system. I can't exactly pin-point what and what they are, but I believe that one of it is chili. I like my food hot. That means chili in its original form or in some other altered way on my plate. The closest that I can describe of the type of hot sauce that I over-mix with my food is chili in vinegar that is usually blended with ginger and garlic, and whatever secret ingredient there is in it. BUT (nasib baik bukan kena spell 'butt')...the condition of my skin is not in its best state these days especially on my face and neck area, and sometimes my gums. Oh my. I can only look and taste with my imagination how much tastier my food would be like with some of that condiment that my palates have grown fond of. 


It's coming to about three weeks now since I've come to live with the fate that has befell me. I don't even know if I have the power to exaggerate about this. I'm fed up because I live in discomfort, partly pain, anger, and a bit of a bruise to my self-esteem. People notice the redness, and it's not the type of attention I'm seeking for at all.   


There comes moments when I just feel like ripping off my entire eyelids. Itchy. Just too itchy. 

HAIYA HAIYA HAIYA HAIYA HAIYA

HAIYA!!!!!!

I might as well become a skin specialist one of these days. 

"Excuse Letter"

Who would have known that FB would prove to be quite a useful tool for students to send in an excuse letter over the Internet?

I didn't, and I never thought that one would actually come up with that idea. Ah, young people these days have gotten themselves well versed over the World Wide Web. Sort of. Good thing about having an email account is, you don't need to log in to your FB account to read your messages.

Sometimes - or quite often lately - I get into this mood that says, "Today, FB isn't important."

Anyway...

Just to let you know, the student is excused. I totally accept it. Ha.

Hunger

Know that at this moment, I am hungry. I am at a meeting, and right now a lot of talking is taking place. 

I am completely anticipating the moment where I can finally make my leave to satisfy my hunger for, of course, literal food.

Gotta stay alive.

Who's with me?

Stretch When You Think You Can't

For the first time, I felt so alive sitting down for the meeting that I had to be at today. I think even if I had four hours of sleep or less, I would still be keen on listening to what I heard for two and a half hours. It feels good to be fed with words that encourage and motivate, and most of all, ones that renew that spirit that might be drying up. 

Thank goodness... I was awake to hear it all.

I thank God for the opportunity, because with opportunity comes blessings.

Password

I spent the past lengthy minutes ago figuring out my password to gain legal access to this blog. I forgot it - and I just can't believe it that I did. I'm putting a vain attempt to assure myself that it had a lot to do with the Caps Lock key that I must have accidentally activated. 


This is what happened next: I failed to conjure up the password, and therefore, resorted to renewing the password. I did that, but I'd say that the new password that I typed in is the same as the previous one - the one that got rejected. Yes, I'm making quite a big deal out of this because originally I had planned on blogging about something else until I encountered this ordeal. See... the Internet is perfectly capable of creating such a havoc in a split second, bringing a mess to your already pitiful life. 


Take note that your points to the blogger.


Readers should realize that at this point, that from the very beginning of this post, most (if not all), of the sentences were forced to succumb to, what we sometimes acknowledge as, exaggeration. Wow. I just realized that that was a lot of commas in a single sentence.


If there was any moral found in this post, well, let it be that you should never forget your password. 


Also, you should bear in mind that sometimes it just really is your fault and that admitting it is the better thing to do so you can move on with a new password.


End.

'Tis a New Month

Yesterday was April Fool's Day (I shouldn't be capitalizing the letters a, f, and d at all) and there's nothing significant about it. Nope. I wonder why people take joy in playing jokes on others just because of the day being April 1. Okay, yeah, I know - simply for the fun of it. And what if someone took your things simply for the fun of it? Or if someone did something that made your heart almost jump out of your ribcage and you could have sworn that you'd die of a heart attack had you been suffering from a weak heart condition? Bet that doesn't sound like any fun at all.

Hmm.. that was a harsh tone to begin my blog entry with. Anyway, yep, it's a new month. Just like almost any other person, I've got lots swimming through my mind. Something about tomorrow. Something else about next month, the end of the year, and so forth. Really, my concerns should be more about today. But it's hard not to. Isn't that what most others feel as well?

Well, I still got my health. Still have my pair of feet to bring me to places, my hands to create (or destroy), my voice to verbalize those thoughts, my brain to know what's good and what's not, and my heart to allow my dreams to have a beat of life in them. These should be things to smile about. Definitely not to worry about.

~      ~      ~

Therefore don't be anxious for tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Each day's own evil is sufficient. 


That's how the World('s) English Bible puts it. 

So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. 

Matt 6:34

I'm not sure what version this Bible verse is of. 

~      ~      ~

Glad it's Friday. I've got lots of reasons to be happy 'bout it. 

 

A Day in March

I bet you've never seen a (dwarf) hamster yawn before. I did, and it was just today that I've seen one while I was eating something for lunch. Ha! I turned my head just at about the right time. Hmm.. it's one of the cutest action I've ever seen. 


Image - still crispy clear in my head. 

It's raining, just like it has been for the past two days at around this time. Wish the weather was a little better since I'll be on the road not too long from now. A two to three hours' drive. No, it won't be my hands on those steering wheels. I can buy myself some sleep at the passenger's seat - I guess that will do me good. If not the sleep, I'll find something to talk about with the others.

Rain's getting harder. Wonder how the weather will be where we're intending to go. 

Indeed, showers of abundant blessings.

Mandarins in March ~

I've got a good nine of them left sitting on the shelf inside my refrigerator. 

And soon there will be no more left.
 

So I'll Miss It ~

I left these words of mine somewhere else over the web, and they're spread out as follows: 

"There's something about 2009 that makes it, by far, my best year. And for that, it feels as if I'm held back from opening that door to welcome the new year. This remaining day is just too precious to waste away. I'll miss this year.. that much I know."

Let me tell myself what happened for the first half of today. I'll include anything that surfaces to mind, and whatever else that I think is worth telling - no matter how minute the significance it holds. This, after all, will be a day that bids goodbye to 2009. The words that I place here just suddenly seems so important this time. I think I may know why, or.. maybe I just really have no clue at all. 


So it begins.. 

~       ~       ~

I woke up and acknowledged God with a prayer - I haven't done it for awhile but today I felt an urge that pressed me to do it. 
I took a look at the bulletin board, two of them, and a whiteboard. I decided that some of the papers stuck to it had to go. And for the whiteboard, I just had to erase a past notice. I did.
I agreed to walk down to town with a colleague knowing that it would be my last for this year. All she needed to say was, "Come.. let's go." That was it.
I snapped a couple of pictures for the changes that were happening around me. I'm missing the old look somehow.
I came up with an impromptu decision of buying my favorite "ice-cold treat" just to wish the shopkeeper a happy new year just in case she is looking forward to 2010 better than I am. 
I agreed to go out for lunch with another colleague. I went because this was my first, and especially, at that time of the day. I will treat the next time.

~       ~       ~

Got a little emotional earlier for some reason. Still am.. the rule is it comes and goes. I find it a little hard accepting the fact that I've only got a few hours left in my hands before the year changes its figure. Time seems to be slipping away much faster today although really.. throughout history, time has always been faithfully consistent with its movement. I feel stubborn because I am.. and because I don't want to let it go. But have I got a choice?

It felt so much easier to accept the fact that I turned a year older this year. But it isn't at all with what's going to change by a matter of hours from now. No.


I know I'll come to better senses much later. So I'll just leave myself with my thoughts and feelings just as it is. No point forcing myself to think and feel otherwise when in the end, I'll find myself in prolonged self-denial. 

I'll miss it.. I really, really will.