Tuesday, you are.

Transfixed at first. Then, drawn closer like a magnet. That's all it takes... all it takes.

I can't figure out why there's been these frequent episodes of electricity cut offs. It's as if not a week goes by without them happening. Are the other areas or districts experiencing the same problem? It gets me all the more agitated especially on hot + humid (it's so M'sia) afternoons like today. Only a few can actually seal their lips tight and refrain themselves from complaining, which is by the way, good. Hmm... we need more people like that around - at least it brings out some sort of balance between the negative and positive vibes lingering in the air every day.

Guess what? I bought myself milky tea today - again, just like yesterday. Difference is, I got the pearls this time instead of the rainbow jelly (they ran out of the pearls). Just out of curiosity, before stepping out of the shop, I asked the shopkeeper, "Do they always ask for pearls?" The response was all I needed to tame those question marks.

I was expecting today to be a bad day 'cause it felt like such a drag just to get myself out of bed, and get ready and all that. It wasn't 100% of what I had expected though. You see, on my way to my work space, I got a few unexpected cheerful good mornings + smiles which felt like a therapy to my degenerating mind and attitude. Ahh... shouldn't that be a big hint as to how your smile might possibly brighten someone's day? 

Skip a step ahead...

So... September's really coming to an end. It's only a matter of tonight and 24 hours more before the pages of the calender gets flipped over for the new month.

I'm awake. September doesn't need to end for me to wake up.

So Monday.

Made a minor change with the setting of my posts - I will stick to it. Now, what else? Out of idleness, I browsed through online displays of shoes. Not that I'm desperate to get myself new pairs of one right now. Anyway, this simple nude color design made the eye catch, and I will show it to you.

 It's definitely got to be the height of that heel - not so much for the bling.

Jimmy Choo - something I can never own with a single pay check. Converted price (of the above) from pound to ringgit: RM3700++. Allow me to say, celaka. 

Presently, I'm thinking of the Milky Tea that I'm gonna buy later - that's the one and only reason why I'll be walking down to town today. These days, my mood and appetite just doesn't feel quite right. Kenapa la tak boleh lebih konsisten sperti para lelaki di luar sana? [Why can't it be more consistent like the boys/men/guys out there?] 

One comment about that... girls/women/ladies have the habit of making things complicated. 

Haih... what la.

The Truth About Cleo

I made a big mistake about Cleo's true gender. Story goes... my parents picked me up on Sunday afternoon and some time during the journey, I spotted something red in color as I flashed into the cage with the light from my hp - it looked bloody and somehow I dismissed it as food (???), and by the time I got home, I realized that Cleo actually gave birth in the car!! I was like, "OMGosh... all this while you were a female?!? NO WAY. I thought that Chinese lady said that you were male".

I must have misheard or stupidly thought that it was actually a male hammy. I thought at first it gave birth to two. I was glad. Then I saw another. Three. That got me a little uncomfortable with the new-found fact. I cleared the mess around the baby hamsters and another two were revealed. Five. I said, that has got to be it. I was wrong - there was one more in the 'house'. So... all together I got six baby hamsters. Makes that a total of lucky number 7.

Bad news. I lost one baby hamster today. I feel guilty and sad all the same. I panicked when I saw it at the base of the cage. Cleo had accidentally pushed it out of its 'nest'. My hands were shaky as I tried to retrieve the tiny body. It was still alive, but it wasn't all pinkish anymore. The color of warmth had left its body. I stubbornly denied that it was going to head that way. Not too long after, it slipped away. I didn't get rid of it straight away when I finally got the chance. I placed it back in the cage and thinking that it was still alive, Cleo brought it back into the 'nest'. That much I will tell.

I didn't know that such a little thing could make me feel this bad right now. I didn't even want those baby hamsters in the first place.

That's the bad thing about having a pet(s) and having that kind of attachment to it (them), that when it's (they're) gone, you definitely feel a small emptiness inside.

Hey you... little thing. Mmmuah!!!

I'm missing it already - my newest pet. Well, it's not like I've got any other(s) with me right now. If you're wondering where the mice all went, well, they've moved elsewhere - some many kilometers away from me. For your info, their number is reduced to a remaining three. I wonder which one will be the last one standing.

Anyway, I've upgraded my pet. Why I say that? 'Cause it's a little bigger in size, and maybe even cuter.

Here it is - the box that it was in hours earlier. No worries, it's not suffocated in there. Any guesses? Mouse, bird, or what? You can cross the first one out of course.


See, I told you. You know, it didn't even complain for being confined to a smaller space - gives me all the reason to love it more.


Ugh. I didn't want this pic to end up in this angle - something to do with the uploading process of the image. Anyway... from being unoccupied (except for the bottles and the other mini accessories), at about midday, it was all set up to be re-occupied once more. Yes, I am flashing my set of teeth right now. Ka ching ah boo!!


Now, there you go. Don't be fooled by what you see. The true color of that thing is suppose to be white-grayish with a streak of black fur running down along the center of its back (dark grey??) - not brownish like mother earth.


Here's to a closer view of it. You, sleepy head.

~ ~ ~

Now, all I have to do with it is train it to get used to my touch, which is, the scary part. It bit me twice today. After buying you, how dare you do that to me!!

It's name, by the way, is Cleo. So what if it's a male bearing a female name? I've come across the name, Nicky, and I've known a girl and a boy with that name. Sure it seemed awkward to me at first because I first known the girl with that name, and so knowing the boy with that name much much later made me think, "Hey, that's a girl's name."

Well, I got used to it. Okay, I'm gonna shut up already.

Coming home to you, Cleo!

bah... how la dis, geng?

First time on a Friday after such a long time... more consistent, please? ***Okay then, same to you too.

Living up to people's expectations is the big thing that's tightening all my nerves at this point. I am hating this, and I can't guarantee that my words will flow and be sweet like honey. Last year, I said, no more. And this year, I've been pushed to do it yet again - just like that. I know it was my fault for not being there to defend my name from the proposal. And for that, I greatly regret it. Anyway, that one month advanced notice about this is not what I want. I said, no, didn't I?

I just can't see the blessing or beauty in disguise behind all this. Maybe there's one, maybe there's none.

Since I've got no choice, I just want to get over it.

Hopefully, I'll have some thanks to offer after that.

~ oh what a day ~

Quite a day. It's not exactly the kind of day you go through often, but when you do go through one, you can get pretty taxed up. This weekend will be one of the busiest this year. I play some minor part in the involvement of the weekend's coming activity, but let me tell you this... I'm brushed with a little of the pressure. Or maybe, a little more than that. Those with the bigger responsibilities feel the toll more than I do - there's bound to have splatters of grunts and complains a little here and there.

Just a little side note: I'm feeling guilty for not being where I'm supposed to be at the time when I'm expected to be there. I'm just like many others, tied to the 'customs' of Asian time when it comes to appointments or meetings of a certain kind.

Now, in between the tensed hours of today, I found some time to be a little playful just like a kid. Aaahh... I like that.

Some pictures, dating from Tuesday up until today.

The pianist of this piece and many other pieces, has been an awfully busy accompanist. She should be paid. Hope this one turns out decent enough to the ears tomorrow.


A snap of my Mily Tea right off the counter before I jabbed my thick straw through the plastic covering.


This time it's at my own working table. Mily Tea, I love you with pearls and ice.


My meat-free diet plan for this month was completely shattered when I entered this place. My liking for cheese and baked dough, has a lot to do with this failed mission. Ah well...

~ ~ ~

I'm not supposed to be doing all this, at this place, at this hour. This should really be all for now.

And for the first time here...

good night.

Why... I ask meekly...

Ahem... I can see that.

...and then, just like that, without warning, I charge at Him angrily as if I was some important person who needed immediate attention. Yet, yet... I am that minute a figure in His presence.

I'm blinded by resentment - of one that impersonates the destructive nature of the waves out at the vast stretch of the ocean. I'm repeatedly pounded by the big WHY. It never fails to stop by. At least, that's the story for now.

My confidence is tucked firmly away in some place hidden. And because of that, I feel as if I've lost my backbone.

I'm pretty stumped with my own question.

And I say to myself, not all questions are meant to have an answer.

I'm plopped down to the floor. I look at the faint reflection staring back at me - almost somewhat a pitiful look.

What now?

I can only wait and see, what becomes of the dreaded.

So You Changed ~ ~ ~

It's about time that the school's got a new coat of paint. It's nice, but maybe in some sort of strange way, I miss the old paint. The change happened overnight - call that, overtime. Yesterday, students saw those walls all white and bare. This morning, they're greeted with this new shade.

Now I'm regretting that my mood was for the shades of a single color.

Presenting the different angles of view...

Had I gone a little lower, you'd see the rubbish bin.

So nah, I made sure my hp stayed at this degree.


To those who know this place like a T-shirt, I'm pretty darn sure you know exactly where I'm standing at this point.


One of my students who caught me taking this shot. I'm the teacher. So what if I brought my hp to school?

~ ~ ~

Changes. It's like a gush of the north wind (don't ask me why north and not south) that blew past at midnight and cast a magical transformation.


Don't you slip away...

What a Sunday.

Like some (or perhaps most) of my Sunday's, today was quite unproductive. Little was accomplished, and I hate the fact that I overslept. Sleeping late is never a good option because you either end up waking up early and losing the needed amount of rest, or sleeping way into the morning like what I did. Waking up somewhere within the time frame of 8 in the morning is already bad enough (plus stealing more sleep later after midday - blame it on the heat of the weather). Feeling like such a pig that weighs half a tonne. Might as well gotten myself drunk last night (I was just saying... not that I would have).

Waste tart. That just popped into my mind. Not sure whether I came across that combo, or heard of it before, or whether it's a genesis of a new expression that makes sense only to me. I would, very much, like to enter that into the dictionary of idioms and phrases. Apa-pa ja lah. In English, that simply means, 'whatever'.

Anyway...

Want to know the look of the T-shirt I'm wearing now? It's an S size but slightly baggy, of which, I don't mind one bit. These days, the baggy T's among girls are being mostly replaced with those tight-fitting T's or tops. Oh well... look who's talking.

The revelation...

If you managed to read the words, know that I'd want to have your eye sights. If not, I've got a close-up.

Hmm... not that I want to be that critical, but I think an apostrophe should be placed somewhere. Anyway, I'm loving the design, and 'course, the significance in meaning of the printed words. Ha. So much for the mood that I'm caught up in at the moment.

~ ~ ~

The ground's wet outside from the downpour many minutes ago. But here, inside, of this body, I'm feeling so dry.

The image I might consider putting up as my profile picture in my FB. If it looks gross, well try not eating for a week. See if that opinion still stays after that.

What flavor would you like to describe your day?

Haih... kasi sweet + sour fish la. Malas mau pikir.
[*Sigh*... make it sweet + sour fish. Lazy to think.]

My Today... Plus What Awaits Ahead.

Too much of the other. Only twice for the one.

It feels good to be surrounded by shelves of books. And, it also feels bad to not have enough cash in your wallet to pay for the books you actually want to buy. So, the limited cash scene gives you no other choice but to simply choose - get it or leave it.

SIGH ~

I had to choose, and so I did. Grrrr...

The place I'm talking about here is the floating bookshop. She... is one grand looking ship docked on the seawater of the city area.

I got the chance to walk on the deck of that ship once again today. The first of September marked my first visit on board for this year (and after quite awhile since I last had the chance).

Pictures from the first visit.

A view of her at a distance.

Left.. right.. left. The pattern continues.


Getting closer to the destination point.

"There she goes..."


Satisfied customers. How can they not be? Or I for that matter? I mean, the books/items are lower in price compared to the ones sold off in the bookstores. I'm loving the conversion part from Units to Malaysian Ringgit. Takes awhile to get used to it. The easiest way to do the calculation of your items in hand is to simply refer to the table conversion provided at the sides of the shelves. Make use of the convenience intended for the customers on board.

~ ~ ~

Could there be a third after the second? Perhaps. I'd love to. My business there is not quite done yet.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

As of now, I'd better start getting ready. Going to Kota Marudu (approx. a 2 hours' drive from where I am). I'm a fan of the school choir + orchestra now. I know I can hear better musical groups other than this. I have, of course. But, I guess, let me be more attached to one where the heart is closer to first.

I bid you a brief good-bye.. for tomorrow.. somewhere during the second half of the day.. I will be back.

My 1st Thursday of the 9th Month

"Oh shoot!" And then... to my surprise.

I'll be singing along to the lyrics of "The Holy City" not too long from now. If I could play the piece with superb performance - no shaky fingers, accelerated heart beat, and no slips here or there, I'd rather be at the piano. Yes... my unsteady love affair with the piano. Ha.

Literature. Can it get any more interesting than being just so plain? Heck. Will deal with this later. Much later.

Brushing all that aside, now. Here are some pictures, which are not too recent but not too ancient either. Enjoy, if you may, the snippets of each image.

When there's a meeting you're expected to be present at, and you're lazy to walk home, but not too lazy to walk to the canteen (which has a further distance), you get other people to get your food cooked for you. For instance, cooking your lunch. And so, this is what I did - I ordered myself this dish, above.

This is one of the puppies who became the new family pet. It is of a mongrel blood - pretty normal case in the kampung. I named it, Loofah.


This is the other puppy - the best image I got of it (or decided to keep). It's got darker fur as you can see. It goes proud by the name of Fungus. Oh well, doesn't matter whatever I named 'em puppies... my parents don't approve.


This is the piano which I finally resolved to polish. And I did, because I couldn't take in anymore of the nagging from the parents. They're happy with the look of it now (ya la.. and it cost me an hour plus of my time after the many years neglected). My left hand playing on the polished surface. Notice that I don't have the best looking skin. I rarely apply lotion.

~ ~ ~

I think I would have added another two pictures. But, I decided, it's too embarrassing.


Later, now.. gotta go!

Mere minutes to midnight

I heard it even if I didn't need to... could it be?

Such a long discussion... serious at one moment, high at the other, sleepy a little later.

Now...

wake me up...

when September ends.